A Day in the Life

I came across a great blog by the Department for Transport (DfT) Neurodiversity Network and they kindly allowed me to draw from it to give an overview of what daily life is like for a range of autistic colleagues. It’s an opportunity to offer a spread of experiences rather than just mine, although I’ve woven my own experiences in as well. I think it really illustrates how each autistic person is different but there are some themes that run through our existences to do with sensory stress, and the need for control of what’s going on in order to cope.

Morning and commute

Like everyone else in the world, we autistics are at our best at different times of day. I personally need time and routine in the morning in order to be ready to face the world. I watch a bit of the news, eat the same breakfast every day, read a bit of various books, and then finally drag myself out of the door in time to be in the office around 9am. I live quite close to work and it’s one of the great luxuries of my life that I can take time to get up slowly and still not have to actually wake up ridiculously early. When I had to commute the feeling of being trapped by the need to be out of the door in time to catch the 6.53am train was very oppressive.

Colleagues from the DfT Neurodiversity Network report a range of strategies describing their morning routine:

“Wake up 8:30am, must travel off-peak or stress, heat and noise of crowds will ruin my day.”

“I get up around 7am so my medication for managing ADHD can kick in.” [ADHD and autism often co-occur]

“ALWAYS. PREPARE. NIGHT. BEFORE. Cannot deal with organising clothes and breakfast in morning with everything else.”

In the office

I have a fixed desk in a quiet corner as one of my reasonable adjustments. I also have my desk arranged so that I can use a large screen for work (being a visual person), but also have my laptop lifted up to eye level so when making video calls I don’t have to stoop, which tends to give me headaches.

Colleagues from the DfT Neurodiversity Network also clearly struggle with the office environment or need adjustments:

“Fixed desk in quiet corner, light out above. Office so bright and noisy; I often struggle to focus.”

“I just bypass that by working from home; sensory impact of office and commute is more than I can manage.”

“I keep my day very structured. Organisation I crave to get through day ends up turning into a strength in busy, central government roles.”

Throughout my life I depend on “scripts” for interactions – for example, I know that a comment on the weather is usually a safe bit of small talk to start off any conversation. I generally mask at work so as to downplay the effects of my autism for the benefit of those around me (which is quite common in autistic professionals) but I may also stim and fidget. It’s reassuring to know colleagues do similar things!

“Small-talk prepped in case I need it, no nasty surprises.”

“I’m usually masking at work (following social scripts I’ve learned to fit in). So much to remember just to present as “socially acceptable”.”

“I also stim – that is, fidget, hum, fiddle with things, shake my hands.”

Meetings

Meetings can be very tiring – talking to people is a key part of my job and it takes quite a lot of energy. Some autistic people need to have their cameras off in video calls; conversely some need to have them on (or particularly for the others in the meeting to have cameras on). That can provide visual communications input – I find it much easier to engage when I’ve got something to look at. I’m also generally lipreading (as an alternative to making eye contact!) An uncomfortable meeting room can make it impossible to focus, so I particularly empathise with the colleague below who arrives early to manage the light levels!

“Arrive early to dim lights. I find meetings pretty overwhelming, so have a simple list of desired outcomes that I draw people back to. Often praised for keeping us all on track!”

“I do like catching up with colleagues, but sometimes what they say confuses me. Wish everyone just said what they really mean.”

“I ask colleagues to put their camera on so I can lipread; helps me follow conversations much better despite the audio processing issues.”

Winding down

A day full of “peopling” at work can be absolutely exhausting but there’s still the prospect of a journey home and all the sort of life admin (such as feeding yourself) to be done. Plus any necessary preparation for the following day. I’m so lucky that when I get home is in my own control – I don’t have to rely on public transport that may be delayed or cars that may be stuck in traffic. In the sanctuary of my own home I feel free to be autisically dysfunctional and generally stick to a small range of meals and activities – but that’s fine because it suits me.

“Usually leave at a time that will avoid the rush. Still, train home is hideously crowded and that’s my last bit of energy gone, I’ll spend the evening recovering (gaming, TV, podcasts).”

“I get around that exhaustion by working a compressed week (longer workdays with a weekly non-working day to recover). I have regular, scheduled evening activities (e.g. book club, board games, pub quiz).”

“Have to fit in food too. I prep simple, familiar dinners to a fixed plan.”

“My partner and I have a family menu book we made to help my sensory and structure needs.”

“Right, not long before bed, get everything ready to do it all again tomorrow!”

Life as an autistic is a constant battle to keep from being overwhelmed or exhausted by the stimulation of the world around – we may retreat into routines, patterns and structure in order to protect ourselves. Stepping outside the known is a big risk – whether it’s a new food, or a new city – and for all of us each day of just living a “normal” life can be tiring and stressful.

This blog is thanks to RT and AP who were kind enough to share the DfT material.