There are microaggressions everywhere in speech and as a society we’re getting better at spotting them. But the ones about autism that transmit the stigma of autism aren’t particularly well known. What makes it difficult is that frequently things are said with the kindest of intentions but have the wrong effect. There are lots of turns of phrase in our language ranging that show bias, even though that bias remains totally unconscious for the person displaying it. What follows is a collection of bits of language I’ve personally encountered in the last six years in a range of settings. These are the kinds of things I really don’t want to hear.
Let’s start with a fairly overt bit of prejudice:
“It’s not so much artistic as autistic!”
Yes, it’s funny that “artistic” and “autistic” sound similar but setting them up as opposites for humorous effect is not OK. It’s working on the stereotype that “autistic” means inept, childish, gauche, crass etc. That’s prejudiced, wrong and nasty – so don’t do it.
“Oh, so-and-so is on the spectrum”
If you mean “so-and-so is autistic” and you’re conveying that as a piece of factual information that’s relevant to the discussion, then say so. If what you’re doing is hinting that so-and-so is a bit inept with people, crass or blunt, then please don’t use my disability as an insult.
“But so-and-so is autistic”
This one is used to dismiss what someone said. So-and-so has a certain opinion but so-and-so is autistic, so we can ignore their opinion. It’s infantilising and dismissive.
“You don’t look autistic”
Yes I do – I am autistic and I look like me. What you mean is I don’t look like your mental image of an autistic person, which is a stereotype. Or you mean “don’t worry – you don’t look odd.” Either of which is not very nice.
“You’re nothing like my [relation] who’s autistic”
Well, no. People from minority groups are not all obliged to be identical, even if that would be more helpful. Sorry about that. And if I’m nothing like an autistic child you know, that’s probably because I’m an adult.
“We say “people with autism” – we put the person first”
If this is said as a statement, then it’s probably well-intentioned but the form of language is not what the majority of autistic people seem to want. If it’s said in response to my describing myself as “autistic”, well: thanks for dismissing my preference and my identity because of your prejudice. And extra bonus points for the self-righteous tone.
“We won’t expect you to … “
Generally the beginning of an assumption that something is beyond me or too difficult for me. That might be true, but I’d rather you asked. I’m afraid I’ve also encountered assumptions that autistic people can’t be trusted, are a security risk, can’t be allowed to take decisions and a number of other nasty things. So “expectations” of autism can be a very thin disguise for prejudice and stereotyping.
“At last – here comes the hermit!”
This is a classic from family gatherings and I must confess I pinched it from Pete Wharmby although it happened to me often enough in childhood. It means “we know you don’t like to be sociable and now you’ve forced yourself to join a social event out of politeness we’re going to tease you about being unsociable”. Social gatherings being a struggle is a feature of many peoples’ autism and we shouldn’t have to cope with the extra social stress of being teased about it. After all, you don’t tease your friend who uses crutches by saying “ooh look, here’s the lazy bones who never climbs stairs” do you?
There are plenty more things that subtly make autistic people feel they don’t fit in or aren’t wanted or shouldn’t be as they are. Some of them have been reclaimed a bit and used as a badge of pride: “geek” or “nerd” can come into that category. But really there’s far too much casual prejudice against autism in our society and it’s coming to the point where it’s really time for it to stop.
Autistic Civil Servant 