Do I really need a diagnosis?

I suspect people get worried about adjustments because they think the only way for things to be fair is for everyone to have the same. But you don’t think that about other things in life. Take drinks orders. If I’m getting the coffees in, I don’t expect everyone to have a medium skinny latte (my order) to make sure things are fair. Everyone gets what they want or need. And if Anne’s order of a large cappuccino is more expensive than Bob’s espresso, then that’s fine. It’s reasonable for Anne and Bob each to have their favourite coffees, even though they’re not the exact same.

Do I need a diagnosis?

I suspect people get worried about adjustments because they think the only way for things to be fair is for everyone to have the same. But you don’t think that about other things in life. Take drinks orders. If I’m getting the coffees in, I don’t expect everyone to have a medium skinny latte (my order) to make sure things are fair. Everyone gets what they want or need. And if Anne’s order of a large cappuccino is more expensive than Bob’s espresso, then that’s fine. It’s reasonable for Anne and Bob each to have their favourite coffees, even though they’re not the exact same.

Changing autistic colleagues…

Being pragmatic, autism isn’t something we should feel obliged to hide all the time. Until we live in a neurodiversity-friendly world some sort of adaptation by us is going to be a practical necessity. But some adaption to us would be nice as well. And above all, if having an autistic colleague makes you uncomfortable, please remember that’s your issue. It’s not on the autistic colleague to hide their disability for you any more than it would be up to a blind colleague to pretend they could see. Sure, an autistic leader has some responsibility to adapt to their staff so as to lead effectively (in the same way any leader does), but no autistic is morally obliged to pretend not to be autistic. If you’re trying to “change” your autistic colleague, you may well be asking them to do just that.

Helping autistic colleagues

You don’t need a diagnosis to offer (and accept) reasonable adjustments. If something will help someone work better – then do that. You don’t need a piece of paper from a doctor with a name of a condition on it to give you permission. To be helpful, you could try to avoid too much non-literal language. The chances are making your meaning clearer will help everyone so it’s a win win situation! You could also make sure that team bonding doesn’t only happen in the pub – that’ll potentially help your maybe-autistic colleague but also colleagues with caring responsibilities, health conditions and those who don’t drink. There are plenty of things you can offer – see this list of potential reasonable adjustments – and see if any of those help. But above all, you can ask the colleague if anything about how the team is operating isn’t working for them.

What do I do if I think someone is autistic?

Doing nothing is always a good option

Doing nothing was one of Sir Humphrey Appleby’s top recommendations but I’m not just suggesting it just because I’m a civil servant. If you think someone you know is autistic you immediately have the potential to do a lot of harm, and if you’re not confident of what you’re doing then the best thing you can do is nothing. Speaking as an autistic “getting the words wrong and upsetting people” is pretty much my specialist subject so you can trust me on this one.

How? Well suppose you go up to someone and say: “I think you’re autistic – have you ever thought about that?” Unless you’re a doctor in a professional setting, that would be an inappropriate thing to say. Amateur diagnosis is seldom a good idea to start with – you may well be wrong. Even if you’re right, the person you’re talking to may have a diagnosis and not want to be open about it. That’s absolutely fine and unless you are their next of kin then you should probably keep your nose out of their personal information. Equally, the person you’re talking to may be one of the people who’s undiagnosed and might be upset about your suggestion. Autism carries a big stigma, so your suggestion could be heard as an insult. It’s a big deal to tell someone you think they have a disability.

I think my member of staff is autistic – what should I do?

You’d be surprised how often I’m asked this. Or actually, you wouldn’t be surprised if you remembered that about 1 in every 100 people are autistic. The statistics show that only about 22% of autistic adults are in any kind of work, but that’s 22% of the people who have a diagnosis and are open